


Dod3 thoughts to put in powerpoint

by RedSky18



Category: Drag-On Dragoon | Drakengard
Genre: Gen, Other, clearly, may edit in future as i go back to fill in blanks, rating this T because you shouldn't even be playing this game if you're not T, this is not fanfiction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-20
Updated: 2020-05-20
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:01:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,373
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24298519
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedSky18/pseuds/RedSky18
Summary: In celebration of drakengard 3’s eng release date anniversary here’s the doc for that powerpoint i stopped working on when i was hyperfixating while replaying it a few months ago
Kudos: 8





	Dod3 thoughts to put in powerpoint

**Author's Note:**

> I first played dod3 back in like 2014 and have since recently replayed it for the first time a few months back in 2020. I got really into it a lot more than I expected and started making notes to turn into a powerpoint with pictures and whatnot but then I stopped working on it. I thought it would be fun to share the doc though. Some empty spaces because I jump around while typing stuff a lot and some things were planned to be funnier/make more sense with whatever images I was going to use, but overall the meaning of everything I said should be easy to understand if you've played the game. Happy 6th anniversary to localized Drakengard 3!

You don’t play for the actual game you play to see what the fuck will happen next because you can’t predict shit

  
Gameplay 

It’s awkward at first and doesn’t feel fluid at all until you keep playing it for like 3 days straight and then suddenly it actually is super fluid but not really it just feels that way because like everyone in the cast you’ve become a fucking monster

Dragon controls suck

Stay tuned because there's another game mechanic that gets introduced later on

Weapon Types 

You can use four kinds - swords, spears, combat bracers, chakrams (switching between them to go all slowmo honestly feels satisfying af)

Spears are the best

They got reach

They got power

They got momentum

One of my favorite things to do in this game is see soldiers blocking my path with shields and just charging 

No really hitting item boxes with anything besides a spear is almost impossible if you're not breathing down its fucking neck

ok maybe chakrams can hit them but lets be real actively choosing to use them is the 2013 version of "no one chooses fucking magic in the beginning of kingdom hearts 1" until you grow up and realize it's actually fucking lit (except i still only used it in that one accord mission with collecting 9 books from enemies in a foggy forest because a strategy online said it worked and i was already at my limit after like 3 trys so. yes it worked on like my 2nd try but even so)

i barely used them as a teenager and i barely used them these past fews days in 2020 good to know some things never change

The constant difficulty curve is bullshit but you say fuck it anyway and keep going

Going into some battles like "the risk i took was calculated but man am i bad at math"

You can parry in this game???

I'm gay i never learned how to block

But One Two and Four did

Archers - "you're really advocating for most annoying bitches of the world huh"

Plot 

Flower = parasite = intoners renowned as gods = eventual end of world unless someone shuts them the fuck up (this is where dragons come in)

basically she tried to kill herself but then the flower was like "oh nope nope nope" and made 5 other bitches to do the job

and then zero was like "fuck you flower imma kill all 6 of us"

"This is the story of six sisters" but really they're all just clones

Prologue - family reunions be like

"fuck you zero"

"no fuck you"

*gets fma'd*

One Year Later

wow zero you really went there to bitch slap them and then they bitch slapped you instead huh

Characters by branches 

General overall

Seven deadly sins but there's only 6 of them because they all lustful af except Four who said fuck sex virgin rights 

If they don’t want to kill zero at some point they want to be her (and still kill her)

(except five who just wants to fuck her)

Zero - "i'm going to save the world" *kills everyone*

fucking horrible. Needs to chill but then you read her backstory on the wiki and it's like "oh that explains so much" that one gif of naruto beating up sasuke

One - seems all calm and collected but before you know it she's just screaming like everyone else

Two - life of the party. All smiles and laughs and you think when you run into her again a year later it'lll be like that again but i oop

Three -

Four - "oh nooo zero i don't want any of us to fight killing is wrong this violence is senseless please stop and come to your senses….unless….👀" "also fuck sex" we could've had pirate bitch. I love a bitch with an inferiority complex

Five - "i'm horny"

Michael - "i'm here for you zero. we'll carry out your plan togethe--oh no i'm regressing to baby boi bye"

Mikhail - 

Dito - Yuri Lowenthall returns yet again

Decadus -

Octa -

Cent -

Now by branches

**Exhibit A**

Five - "zero let me fuck you" zero "how about i fuck you instead and by fuck i mean kill"

Four - "Hmm, I think I'll run away." *screams for literally almost an entire minute before song even starts* *huge castle thing* this isn't her overcompensating at all. a fake bitch AND a dumbass

Three - riddles, human experimentation, daddy kink (until that got boring and she went back to human experimentation)

Two - homegirl dead inside

One - *sits on huge throne*

Brother One - i don't remember his voice being this deep. it's kind of hot

**Exhibit B**

what the fuck was this branch even about

One didn't even make it to the end of branch b lmao what a fucking loser EDIT: turns out i think maybe that wasn't even One

Two - Fucking annihilated One offscreen when no one else ever has except Zero. Three tried but died

Four and Five - already dead

  
  


**Exhibit C**

Two - returns yet again. i'm thinking she might potentially have the biggest dick energy of them all it's too bad she's not even aware of it

Four and Five - still dead drakengard 3 said fuck youngest siblings rights

**Exhibit D**

Two’s big dick energy from the last two branches would’ve been too much for this one and would have fucking destroyed it that's why it's her turn to already be dead

Four - "hello i was gone for 2 whole branches so now i'm back to overcompensate again" *summons dragon*

Wants that big dick energy

Five - Five got so sick of already being dead that she came back thru sheer flower power alone and is looking great 

Three - hi i can’t hear you over my ANCIENT dragon straight out of legend. Flexed so hard

Dito - leaves you for a corpse

Accord - *scooby doo running sound effect*

  
  


The whole fucking flower - 8 minutes of "git good" as in "how dare you think you're allowed to make MISTAKES. fuck you."

Hatsune Miku, a known goddess "it's okay to make mistakes"

The intoners "fuck you."

That last note of Three’s always fucks me up. The further you go the more stressful it becomes. You think you got the rhythm down but you really don’t. You finally get the hang of One’s and then the final bit fucks you over . do you memorize the final song or does the final song memorize you. Could you imagine if your controller died during this. It’s almost like it gets harder the more you fail but it’s actually just you start to zone out more in the first like ⅘ parts and then you can’t focus again in time

It took me like a week longer than it should have to beat this game just because of this one song

*shadow clone jutsu*

**Dlc based off of memory**

Five - what was the point of this ep?? She wanted seafood. Cuz greed. Also only time we ever hear a female soldier in the entire game and five is rude about it

Four - you think she only gets bad in branch d because she lost her mind but then you play the dlc and realize she really is just that fucking horrible

Two - "aww they made themselves a cute happy family with adopted kids i sure hope nothing goes wron- oh nooo"

One - i'm like 83% sure she fucked her dragon and male clone at some point. maybe. with everything else in this game i wouldn't be surprised

EDIT: SO IT TURNS OUT--

Music 

You think you know what to expect but then you don’t

i hope you like hellish screeching and laughing

and orchestral pieces too of course

There's also some killer dlc tracks you can choose to play too but i'm broke so

*this silence is mine intensifies*

Intoner songs which SLAP in order of least slappy to most slappy in my very biased opinion

Two’s < Three’s < Five’s < One’s < Four’s

Three’s and Five’s could alternate

*beat 8 minute final boss rhythm game where you can’t make a single mistake without having to start over*

*find out it’s still not even actually the true ending*

The canon ending isn’t even actually in the game

In conclusion

I love this bitch 

*another picture of Four*

**Author's Note:**

> I'll finish that powerpoint someday
> 
> original docs version here  
> https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Ezu-P5AXGx-hAswUVdGw9NP-QqxojUxhVIDDUYzXp74/edit


End file.
